If you’re waiting to feel ready to backpack alone, this might explain why you never do.

I hear this all the time from women who are smart, capable and genuinely interested in solo backpacking.

They’ll say things like:

  • “I just don’t feel ready yet.”
  • “I think I need more confidence first.”
  • “Maybe after a little more experience.”

And almost always, it comes with an unspoken question underneath it all:
Is something wrong with me?

So let me say this right up front
Nothing is wrong with you.

The Real Reason You Don’t Feel Ready 

Most women assume that if they don’t feel ready, the problem must be practical:

  • Not enough gear
  • Not enough skills
  • Not enough experience

But in most cases, that’s not the issue at all.

The truth is this:
Readiness isn’t technical. It’s emotional.

And if you’ve been waiting for confidence to magically show up before you go backpacking alone, that moment usually never comes.

Not because you’re incapable, but because that’s not how confidence actually works.

The Myth of “Feeling Ready”

Here’s the part no one really talks about.

Most people believe confidence comes first and then action follows. But in real life, it almost never works that way.

Confidence is usually the result of doing something uncomfortable, not the thing that allows you to do it.

What I see over and over again, especially with women, is a quiet waiting period.

We tell ourselves we’re being responsible.
That we’re being smart.
That we’re being patient.

But what we’re often really waiting for is one of three things:

  • Certainty: knowing exactly how everything will go
  • Calm: the nerves to disappear, the fear to quiet down
  • Permission: someone else telling us it’s okay, that we’re ready enough

And here’s the hard truth:

Certainty doesn’t show up before you act.
Calm doesn’t show up before you act.
Permission doesn’t show up before you act.
They show up because you acted.

This is why so many women stay stuck in a loop of preparation…more research, more planning, more gear, but still don’t feel any closer to actually going.

Because readiness isn’t something you discover.
Readiness is a story we tell ourselves so we don’t have to face uncertainty.

And uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re unprepared. It just means you’re doing something that matters.

Fear vs Preparedness (They’re NOT the Same)

This is where a lot of women get tripped up. We start treating fear like a red flag. Like if we feel scared, it must mean we’re not prepared enough yet.

But fear and preparedness are not the same thing.

You can be:

  • Well-trained
  • Well-researched
  • Physically capable
  • Thoughtful and responsible

…and still feel fear.

Fear doesn’t show up because you’re doing something wrong. Fear shows up because your brain is doing exactly what it’s designed to do.

Your brain’s job isn’t to help you chase growth or adventure. Its job is to keep you safe.

So, when you think about backpacking alone, your brain starts scanning for rick. Not just physical risk, but emotional and social risk too.

It’s protecting you from:

  • Getting hurt
  • Making a mistake
  • Being uncomfortable
  • Being judged
  • Being alone with your decisions

None of that means you’re unprepared. It means you’re human.

Here’s the reframe that changes everything:
Your fear doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means you care.

The goal isn’t to eliminate fear. The goal is to stop letting fear pretend it’s a preparedness problem, when it’s actually just a protective response.

How Women Are Conditioned to Wait

From a very young age, women are taught to be careful.

We’re taught to:

  • Be cautious
  • Think things through
  • Anticipate consequences

We’re taught, directly and indirectly, not to take risks alone.
To bring someone with us.
To get approval first.
To make sure everyone else is comfortable with our choices.

I saw this play out clearly when I was planning my Pacific Crest Trail thru-hike back in 2018.

Every time I told someone I was preparing for this huge, exciting adventure and that I was planning to hike it alone, the response was rarely excitement. Instead, people projected their fear onto me:

They asked:

  • “Is it safe for a woman to hike it alone?”
  • “Aren’t you scared to hike it alone?”
  • “Are you bringing a gun?”

Almost none of those questions were actually about my preparedness. They were about discomfort with the idea of a woman choosing uncertainty alone.

And here’s the part that really matters:

If I had waited until I felt completely ready, until I believed that I had eliminated every possible risk and could guarantee nothing would go wrong, I never would have started my solo PCT thru-hike.

Not because I wasn’t capable.
Not because I hadn’t prepared.
But because that version of “ready” doesn’t actually exist.

This is where the double standard shows up.

Men are praised for figuring things out as they go.
Women are told to wait until they’re ready.

A man who’s unsure is seen as brave.
A woman who’s unsure is seen as reckless.

So, of course so many women feel like they’re never ready enough. They’ve been taught that uncertainty is something to eliminate, instead of it being a normal part of choosing growth.

What Actually Creates Readiness

In real life, readiness is built is very small, unglamourous ways.

It comes from tiny experiences of self-trust. From doing something a little uncomfortable and realizing you handled it.

Not perfectly.
Not fear-free.
Just well enough.

Readiness also comes from proof of safety.

Not the kind where nothing ever goes wrong, but the kind where you learn, firsthand, that you can navigate uncertainty and take care of yourself.

And most importantly:
Readiness comes from doing things before confidence arrives.

Confidence is usually late to the party. It shows up after you’ve already started.

When it comes to backpacking, this doesn’t mean quitting your job and heading out for a six-month thru-hike tomorrow.

It looks like:

  • Taking a solo day hike on a familiar trail
  • Spending one night close to your car
  • Hiking a trail you already know alone

None of these steps are about proving anything. They’re about building a quiet relationship with yourself where you learn, over time, that you can trust your judgement and handle more than you think.

That’s what creates readiness.

No waiting for fear to disappear but collecting small pieces of evidence that you can move forward even when the fear is still there.

A Free Resource to Help You Take the Next Step

If you’re stuck in that “waiting to feel ready” phase, I created a free resource to help.

The Solo Backpacking Readiness Check Guide is designed to help you:

  • Understand why you feel stuck
  • Separate fear from real preparedness
  • Identify your most realistic next step

It’s simple, practical and built specifically for women who want to start building confidence without forcing themselves to feel fearless first.

👉 Download the free Solo Backpacking Readiness Check Guide HERE

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